A Game of Bridge Too Far
Another lazy day at sea beckoned.
Being at sea is quite a ‘thing’. When most of our maritime experience is hopping between Dover and Calais, it’s difficult to grasp the sheer enormity of a space like the Indian Ocean. In this day and age, of course, one is rarely truly alone and pretty much all of the time, there is at least one other ship in view somewhere on the horizon; usually either a gigantic container ship or a leviathan oil tanker following broadly the same maritime highway as ourselves. But it makes you think of the courage of those who came this way in sailing ships hundreds of years back, with no SatNav or Air-con! We looked at the stars last night and I would dearly love to know how to navigate by them – that would be an onboard class worth going to!
Anyway, it was time for breakfast!
On the way to which, we noticed a stowaway! An Egret had wisely decided that it was easier to hitch a lift to Sri Lanka than fly, and spent most of the day by the pool. Passengers reacted according to type with the Bits leading the way in providing ample supplies of food and water for it!
Then it was back to the Bridge lesson!
Jefferey and Nathan, our friends of yesterday from San Francisco had already teamed up with another couple (whom we shall now refer to as table 4) with whom they already seemed to have some communication issues. We found ourselves with a couple from Scotland.
The format of the class was that ‘Mike’, the ex US lawyer, told each table specifically how to share out the cards in order to explain the bidding and playing process. But things were already going awry…
Mike; “Right if that’s all the cards set out..Table 4, is there a problem..?”
Nathan; “We do have an issue – our friends here are German Swiss and they don’t speak English – Jefferey is translating for them”
Mike’ Well OK- but please do keep up – we only have 45 minutes”
Some minutes passed…
Mike; “Table 4, what’s gong on now?’
Nathan; “We have another problem – we all have different numbers of cards”
MIke; “Table 4, when I said this was basic Bridge, I did assume that you could all count!”
Nathan; “I am so sorry – we are having these language issues”
Mike; “What the hell are you talking about? The Swiss can count before they can talk!”
More minutes pass…
Mike; Table 4, are you guys with us now?”
Nathan; “We seem to have lost the four of spades”
Mike; “ For chrissakes – does anyone know the German for ‘who has the goddam four of spades?”
Nathan; “We’re on top of it – we’re just going to do a sort of switcheroo with some of the cards here…’
Mike; “I’ve been playing Bridge for 50 years and I’ve never heard the term ‘Switcheroo’ ! You need to share the cards the way I told you! My God, this is why I end up drinking alone in my cabin..”
I can’t possibly do this justice; you had to have been there. Suffice to say that by now, S, myself and our Scots friends were now in tears and the rest of the room had given up trying to politely ignore this. The indignant expressions of both Mike and ‘Table 4’ seemed to indicate that this was in no way a put up job and we can’t wait for the next lesson.
In order to calm down, we then went to an uplifting lecture by an ex-Concorde pilot on the causes of the Paris air disaster. If you ignore the catastrophic loss of life, it was a fascinating session!
The rest of the day was spent over-sunning, over-eating and over-drinking and wondering what tomorrow might bring. We wished that we had seen more of Sabang island, which really fitted the perception of a tropical island but where the visit was too short. Tomorrow was meant to be one of the ‘big days’ of the trip with a trip to a national park; we hoped it would live up to the billing!